Emmaus South Lambeth’s 25-bed en suite accommodation is in West Norwood . It’s for previously homeless men and women who live and work in a Community aiming to create a self-sustaining environment by running retail outlets to sell donated quality goods. The blog is by one of our Companions.
Hello again.
I am at risk. I have decided, I am at grave risk of becoming a Bin Bore! Maybe if I relate the full sad and sorry story of Emmaus South Lambeth’s refuse dramas - well, there’s two possible outcomes : first, it may prove cathartic (for me) and/or it may be (sadly) boring for you… if the latter, please scroll to the end – I just HAVE to risk it in the hopes of the former outcome. As Tom Leherer said - you’ve yourselves to blame if it’s too long, you should never have let me begin!
When the erstwhile “Accommodation Block” became our home in mid-October, our landlords told us to move the 5 industrial-sized bins located in a shelter at the top of our driveway to a neat pallisaded area, which we did a couple of weeks later. We had grave misgivings, however, because the shelter just happened to be a very convenient place for all and sundry to use for THEIR rubbish. Predictably, All and Sundry continued to use the shelter – in their droves. Even those who hadn’t used the bins previously now found cause to get their Range Rover out of their garage in Penzance, Portsmouth, Peterborough (and I’m SURE I heard some with a Peebles twang!) or wherever, it seemed, and make a beeline to come and dump their rubbish sacks in our ex-bin shelter! Well OK, maybe I exaggerate. A little. Didn’t feel like it though.
E-mails and phone calls went to our landlords in increasing desperation – GET SOMETHING DONE… but the shelter was soon overwhelmed, aided and abetted by a local ‘character’ who enjoyed turning over and/or ripping open the black bags to find any unconsidered trifle (or curry, fish’n chips or KFC….), assisted by local dogs, and with accompanying pigeons making sure the contents where thoroughly scattered! Suffice to say that at its doleful peak, the stinky messy pile was over 6’ long and deep, and nearly as high.
Finally, with the Royal Visit looming, we paid private contractors and deducted their bill from the rent. For the first time in weeks, it was a pleasure to return home, in not having to pass the putrid waste. Passers-by continued to drop bags for a while, but we haven’t had any for quite a while now. By the New Year, it seemed that it had all been a bad dream.
Until, improbably, I found myself uttering the sentence “one of our rubbish bins has … gone missing”, over a month ago now. Look, these things are X feet long and wide and deep, you can’t just tuck it into your …. anywhere and hope you’re not spotted… Well, it appears SOMEONE did just that, successfully. It wasn’t taken for a joy-ride, ‘cos we looked in the likely local nooks and crannies… it had just – went.
So we contacted our landlords again, to the sound of deafening silence (encore un fois…) and finally our Interim Projects Officer at Lambeth got onto the case for us. Mercifully, Amanda not only found out what we had to do, but did it for us, because I fear I could not have done it with a straight face!
It turned out we had to report the missing bin to the police as stolen, whereupon we would be issued with a Crime Report Number to give to the Council who would then be able to replace the bin. For insurance purposes, I guess. Trouble is, I have the serious impediment of a ‘cartoon mind’; I just had this image of a PC Plod character, thumbs in braces, saying “ello, ello, ello, madam, a missing bin… description of contents please? Last seen heading in a …which direction?”
So luckily Amanda did all the work and joy of joys, the replacement bin arrived last Friday. I solemnly welcomed it and fed it and rushed to email Amanda and her team to thank them and I felt quite –proud – as I watched it being emptied on Saturday morning (I would have run down to tell the collectors to treat it gently, but it was 7am and I couldn’t find my …glasses)… See, I’ve got it bad, haven’t I?!
And then came WOE on Tuesday! Some unkind neighbours stacked the palisade with their unwanted mattress and headboard and other rubbish which they couldn’t be ar- bothered to heave into the bins, so contractors (not at our request this time) came and put all the nasty tacky rubbish carefully into the bins on Wednesday.
So now, mid-week, we were back in the same old predicament – full bins, and no collection till Saturday…. Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggggg.
Then a Miracle occurred! Lambeth Council’s Detritus Disposal Squad, (or whatever the current PC terminology is) God Bless ‘em, arrived and emptied all of them for us. Deep joy!
I am pleased to relate that my next transmission will be on much more flowery lines – literally speaking: we bought some climbing plants (honeysuckle, ivy etc) for the palisade a couple of weeks ago and – come to think of it, the purchase probably instigated the appalling winds we’ve had ever since – I’m going to risk planting them this weekend. We have also got some sweet-pea seedlings which will certainly need to get replanted soon. Then hopefully they will all grow fast and hide the bins, so you won’t be bored to tears by my sagas of woe any more!
The real news of the week was that we gave played host to the Emmaus UK Trustees for a couple of days. It was very nice to see familiar faces from Assembly again, as well as meeting other members for the first time. We enjoyed having them visit us.
I can scarcely believe Easter is heading towards us at such a rate. One more blink, and our Official Opening on 12th April will be upon us – I do hope we’ll be seeing lots of you then!
Talking of Easter, I may be ducking the blog next week, so enjoy yourselves egg-statically.
Best wishes,
Elizabeth
